Actually, the great thing that if he does get the job, his real appointments will probably be even weirder than the ones I've just made up. It's why I'm hoping the Indie's prospective buyer Alexander Lebedev isn't put off by the Stop Rod Liddle campaign which has been launched on Facebook and on . The only thing crazier than buying an ailing newspaper when print circulations are in freefall would be not to give the job to the one man on earth who could possibly save it.

Given its subject matter, and its huge success in the States, it's unsurprising if grown-ups see this as a valuable piece of demographic research, an insight into the complex minds of their teenage children.

12:39:I am reliably told that if you were to place a bet on those exact results, you would get odds of 69,000,000/1. Worth a quid isn't it? Not that I'm condoning gambling. Players on their way in a moment or two.

But within minutes of the next performance, on Tuesday night, the problems had resurfaced in dramatic style with Takadas trips.

In addition, Smith Electric has improved the payload capabilities of its Edison range that is built on the Ford Transit chassis. Gross payloads have increased by an average of 150kg and more than 250kg on panel vans, the latter being a 35 per cent improvement. Its Newton chassis cabs already have a payload of 2,753-7,508kg.