To give credit where credit's due, Lammy has uncovered some genuinely shocking statistics through a series of FOI requests. Perhaps most shockingly, the London Borough of Richmond has sent almost as many children to Oxford and Cambridge over the last five years as the whole of Scotland.

A bid by Beijing to keep shoppers inside mainland China, however, threatens that wave and the rent surge Hong Kong shop landlords have enjoyed.

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"We encourage you to act fast. If we were able to locate these boys within 2 hours, it will not be long before someone else finds them," the statement reads.

Paul Sims, Philip Kingston's appointee, thought the website offered a way to increase interaction with constituents. The park department staff ran with the idea.